Missional Living Micro Post

Of the twelve best know apostles, eleven were killed and the one who survived (John) suffered. Yet each would have said confidently, soberly, that Jesus protected them. Either they were all crazy fools (but they didn’t live or write like crazy fools) or they understood protection in a way we seldom do. I think our world, our culture, suggests, convincingly, that through things like investment and exercise we can be protected from harm for security until we die.  I think the kingdom of heaven suggests, and the apostles understood, that in Christ we will find protection from evil for service for eternal life.

It is clear that to the see the world as they did would change everything.  But it is not easy.  John wrote that perfect love casts out fear.  Oh Lord, give us that love!

– Reflecting on John 17:10-11

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Why People Are Disillusioned with the Church AND Things To Do About It

One time, a man in the church asked me to spend a day with him fishing. I couldn’t do it, I said, because I had to spend that time preparing for the worship service. Wow, I wish I could have that day back! I now view the chance to invest in a guy for six to eight hours as one of the most valuable ways I could ever spend a day. My sermon may have suffered, but my life would preach better.

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Why People Are Disillusioned with the Church AND Things To Do About It

Why are people disillusioned with the church?  There are too many reasons.  In a short video, Mark Vanderstelt (Soma Communities) shares insight from a couple in his fellowship that had become disillusioned with church.  I summarize the reasons he shared below and offer a few ideas from my experience that can keep people from similar disillusionment.

1) They came in expecting to find a  loving, welcoming family in the church.  They expected to connect with people with whom they could do life.   But their experience of church was something else, something less.  Their expectations went unmet.

2) The messages they were hearing didn’t translate into action.  Problems were identified, but no one did anything about the problem.  That fed the sense that the church was hypocritical.

3) They couldn’t see the relevance of  the gospel to everyday life.  They did not have a sense of how their experiences at church connected with their work, family, health, marriage, getting along with neighbors, etc.  So church began to feel like a waste of time.

There are more reasons, for sure, but that describes the experience of many people  I know.  The thing is, many people who are disillusioned with the church are still in the church!  They hang in there.  So this isn’t just about those who’ve left or attracting people in and keeping them – this is about fostering a more vital Christian experience for the people we know and love in our churches.

What can be done?  I offer three ideas.

1) Create extended family size groups in your church around discipleship AND mission.  That can present a tough challenge for church leaders in established congregations.  To start with, there are probably existing extended family size groups in your church.  Groups like this form naturally.  Some of these groups may have a sense of affinity and purpose that the members like, but is distracting from the work of mission and discipleship.  If you aren’t careful, existing groups can feel threatened and judged when they hear you talking about groups centered on mission and discipleship.  They may feel that creating new groups will displace them or take away from their number,  or that their unifying purpose isn’t as acceptable as it once was. (I’ve got a few painful stories I could tell you about mens breakfasts, youth groups, quilting guilds, car clubs, and women’s circles…) If you are facing that, be patient, love the people, reassure them, pray hard and invite others to pray for you and your church.   But don’t settle.  Learn how to lead change.  Get help.  And work on the problem.  The people God has brought into your life and ministry deserve to have the experience of living in a loving, welcoming family of fellow believers.

2) Start fostering intentional discipling relationships (and if you don’t know how, summon the humility and take the time to learn to make disciples who can make disciples.  Like me, you may need to discover/rediscover what discipleship is.  It’s worth it!)  And then disciple people with all your passion and purpose.  A little more than two years ago, I started gathering people into huddles and using Mike Breen’s Life Shapes as tools to help them live as disciples who make disciples.  The coolest thing was how people began to learn how to be disciples and how to make disciples.  And, because it was clear, they began to see how discipleship could make a difference in other places in their lives.   By teaching discipleship, I have seen families make more time for family.  I’ve seen sports coaches coach better.  Mom’s have found new skills for mothering.  A high-school senior found insight for vocation.   A husband gained insight into how to talk with his wife.  A doctor became willing, skilled, and confident for praying with patients.  No one in those discipling relationships has said, “I don’t see how this is relevant.”

3) Emphasize connecting people to ministries that will help people experience church as a loving, welcoming family centered on Jesus.  To emphasize those kinds of ministries, you will have to stop emphasizing the thing you probably emphasize, which is…

Before I give it away, let me be clear (and this is especially for church leaders and preachers) this is not about changing the message.  If you – or your preacher – faithfully shares the truths found in the New Testament at all, people will come to know that church is supposed to be a loving, welcoming family.   The problem isn’t the message.  The problem is that the thing your church pours its energy, resources, and leadership into is a ministry that doesn’t help people experience church as a loving, welcoming, Christ-centered family.

The ministry you will probably have to emphasizing is the worship service.  (I hope you will keep reading.)

In my earlier pastoral days, I worked so hard to  plan excellent worship services.  I would focus every aspect and movement of the service in order to communicate the deep truths of the gospel, and to promote doctrinal clarity and faithfulness.  It took a lot of work, a lot of my hours.  It blocked out other things.  One time, a man in the church asked me to spend a day with him fishing.  I couldn’t do it, I said, because I had to spend that time preparing for the worship service.  Wow, I wish I could have that day back!  I now view the chance to invest in a guy for six to eight hours as one of the most valuable ways I could ever spend a day.   My sermon may have suffered, but my life would preach better.  And the his might have, too.

Today, I involve members of my missional community in planning worship and we still work at the service because we want our worship services to be an acceptable offering to God.  But I no longer emphasize getting people to worship.  I try not to measure it.  It’s not the first thing I invite new people into.  It’s no longer the event into which I pour most of my energy because emphasizing it does not foster anything like the New Testament community of disciples.  Gathering with others for mission and discipleship does.

Lost thing, as I read the Bible, I don’t see Jesus getting people to worship.  He seemed to assume they would.   Rather, he emphasized making disciples, loving one another, loving our neighbors, and loving God. Discipleship, loving one another, and loving our neighbors involve face to face connection with other human beings.  A brief greeting to neighbors, sitting in rows, listening, and singing misses that.  And if we love one another better, I wonder if we won’t love God better, too.

So to review, I offer three ways to prevent disillusionment.

1) Create extended family sized groups around mission AND discipleship.

2) Start fostering intentional discipling relationships (and if you need to, learn ways to make disciples who make disciples).

3) Emphasize connecting people to those extended family size groups organized around mission and discipleship.

And pray for your people!

Did this stimulate any ideas?   I would love it if you would add to the conversation.

Blessings!

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6 Dangers That MUST Be Addressed To Save Your Youth Group (and a Response)

Part 1 is an excerpt from an article by Justin Lopez at Austin Stone.  Humbly, I offer part 2 as my response.  It reflects what I would do about it if I were still leading a youth ministry and is informed by some of the things we are doing about it in our missional community efforts.

Part 1 – by Justin Lopez

Pastoring and shepherding the younger generation is critical. These teenagers will be the men and women who lead our churches and ministries in the decades ahead. We want these future church leaders to be Gospel-centered, mission-minded, Word-saturated, servant-hearted people, right?

There are dangers facing every youth group, and for the sake of the Church, its flourishing, and the advancement of the Gospel, we must address them.

Here are six common dangers:

  1. Too many youth have a poor understanding of the Gospel and how it applies to their lives.

While many people can explain the Gospel in some way, shape, or form, very few have learned to apply it to their own lives. The result is a religion largely motivated by legalistic rules that leads to guilt and shame when rules are not met or self-righteousness when they are.

Many students also struggle to see themselves as truly broken and in need of a Savior. Others will fall on the side of misunderstanding grace as a license for sin. Underneath it all is a fundamental misunderstanding of the Gospel.

  1. The American consumer mentality has severely skewed the way youth view the church.

Because so much of the emphasis on reaching youth is aimed at getting them in the door and staying there, many are not attracted by Christ, but rather by entertainment or friendships. While this may be effective in initially exposing them to Christ, it cannot be their only experience of Him.

There will inevitably come a day when church will not be focused primarily on their entertainment. For many, this will be a time of disillusionment with the church and one of the reasons so many youth do not remain a part of a church body after they leave home.

  1. Youth are more technologically connected than ever, yet experience more isolation than ever.

While youth may have more “friends” than ever before, they are being conditioned to only have friendships at a superficial level. They live in a world that prioritizes managing and puffing up their image, both online and offline.

As a result, youth have few people, if any, who actually know them truly and deeply and can help them in their walk with the Lord.

  1. There is a tendency to swing the pendulum too far toward either mission or community, neglecting one for the other.

Youth tend to operate in extremes. Depending on their background or whom they follow on Twitter, many youth, full of zeal, will tend to overemphasize either mission/”outreach” or community/”going deep”.

Either bent, if not coupled with the other, will lead to burnout or a “huddle” mentality. The eventual result will be a church that slowly fizzles out.

  1. Youth have a hard time seeing how they personally fit into God’s redemptive story.

Because many youth are new to the faith, they may have not yet seen God use them personally to impact the Kingdom. They see all of the “Christian celebrities” before them and can easily believe the lie that God only uses the more known or trained people with certain skills, passions, and gifts to advance the Gospel.

They feel disqualified, inexperienced or inferior, paralyzing them in life and ministry.

  1. Many youth lack the desire and ability to study and apply the word of God to their lives.

Because it is easier than ever to find teaching and blogs about the Bible, more and more youth do not know how to study the Word for themselves. Some are apathetic because they do not see the Bible as relevant to their life or situation and others see personal study as too difficult and would much rather listen to a podcast or read the latest Christian book or devotional. Personal study of the Word is critical for every believer, including youth.

Part 2 – my response:

To be fair, that is not the end of his article. Justin then goes on to write about a camp (called Switch) pulled together by Austin Stone (in Austin Texas). It is probably an awesome week. Check it out.

My response is fueled somewhat by an observation I’ve made over the years.  When Christian ministry leaders included their own children in their ministries from the time they were little, the kids generally “got it.”  They tended to grow into ministry leaders themselves.  But when parents took a hands off approach and kept their kids separated from their ministries, the child was as likely as not to give up when they grow up.

But here are my short responses to each danger listed:

  1. Too many youth have a poor understanding of the Gospel and how it applies to their lives.

I agree. So while you teach the youth about the gospel, teach the adults in their lives to understand the Gospel, too. Equip the adults in their lives to pass it on. To teach the gospel, I would begin with talking about Jesus and the Balanced Life (Up-In-Out) which reveals a whole in nearly everyone’s life – followed by an explanation of salvation by grace through faith. But a lasting impact requires discipleship. How can you equip the people in your ministry to learn from Jesus how to live like Jesus? How will you equip them to pass that on? If you don’t have good answers to those questions – may the Lord give you no rest until you have good answers!

  1. The American consumer mentality has severely skewed the way youth view the church.

Yep. Consumerism has touched us all. I love the way the Invitation-Challenge matrix brings immediate depth of understanding of that problem. To address it, I would work with the adults who are trying to create the high invitation environment for youth.  Usually they are ready to listen, because it is exhausting trying to create the purely invitational environment.  Encourage he adults in their lives to embrace a lifestyle of Up-In-Out in a “high invitation, high challenge” way and encourage them to include youth on the journey.

  1. Youth are more technologically connected than ever, yet experience more isolation than ever.

Community is formed when we do Up-In-Out together. Engaging in mission (out) while in a community of fellowship and support (in), worship, prayer, and Bible study (up) forms what Alan Hirsch and others call “communitas”. We all know that friendships go deeper when forged under trial. Passion for mission brings the challenge that keeps us open (even desperate) to engage and involve others and aware of our need for one another. Generational differences and divides break down in that environment.

  1. There is a tendency to swing the pendulum too far toward either mission or community, neglecting one for the other.

Yes. Mission or community is a false choice. It is mission AND community. Finding a sustainable rhythm that involves mission (out) and community (in) will help. And I would add to the rhythm a healthy dose of worship, prayer, listening for the Spirit, Bible study, etc., otherwise known us “up”.  And that is not just for youth.

  1. Youth have a hard time seeing how they personally fit into God’s redemptive story.

God’s redemptive story is beautiful to see, but it is not merely to be observed. We are called to live into it ourselves. As youth live into it, they find their place in it. Thank you, Lord that our youth see the emptiness of merely going to church. They instinctively know that there should be more to it than that. Youth groups can help by living into God’s redemptive story together. Families can do the same. Become a family on mission.

  1. Many youth lack the desire and ability to study and apply the word of God to their lives.

Yes. So teach them! Equip them. Read the Bible together.  Pray the scriptures.  Teach them to use good Study Bibles.  I like to teach them to use a little graphical tool called the Learning Circle. That helps us see how God spoke to people in scripture and what they did about it. In the process, it teaches us to recognize it when God is speaking to us though the scriptures and to learn ways to apply it. When we hear Jesus’s word and put it into practice, we grow as disciples.

Last thing: we have done all of these things within the context of missional community, but we encourage our kids to be in church youth groups, too.  We disciple our youth in partnership with others.  That bears much fruit!

Blessings on the journey, and thanks for your insights, Justin.   I hope more people read your stuff.

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What Sunday morning football taught me about Missional Communities

richard's avatarThe Untaming

About six months ago, a friend of mine wanted to get the local men together for a light-hearted football (soccer) game on Sunday mornings. I turned up for the first time last week (!) and found he had gathered a regular core of around 12-16 men who would turn up each week, out of a larger pool of players who would try to come when their schedule permitted. I realised that there were several lessons to take away for our Missional Community.

missional community lessons from football

How did he build this momentum? For the first few months, he really struggled to get enough players for even a five-a-side.   But he had a very simple approach that

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